He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
