Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
