so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
