Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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