I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
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