So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
