dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
