you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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