Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.

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(330): View more from Ohio

All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.

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(+48): View more from Poland

there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover

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(727): View more from Florida

josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up

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(360): View more from Washington

I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.

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