absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
