There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize