I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
