A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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