She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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