We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
