Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
