two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he told me I talked like a deaf person
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize