Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
