What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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