32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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