yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
