just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
