I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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