do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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