I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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