Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize