Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
