remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize