Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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