I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
