One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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