So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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