you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
