All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
