Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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