That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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