drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I miss vodka workout Fridays
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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