I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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