just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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