Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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