Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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