It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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