peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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