i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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