I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
