covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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