I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
