i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize