I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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