girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
