I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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