So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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