But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
