a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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