Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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