wat bout pragnant strippers??
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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