it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
