I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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