i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
