Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
