do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
