If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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