So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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