Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
