What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize