too bad you live with your parents still
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
