if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Are my feet made of real feet?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
