you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
