im gay
i know
yea but for you.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
