Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
