I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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