I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
